About Ecology of Being Human

By some synchronicity, you’ve landed on this page. Perhaps the subject of your humanity intrigues you as much as it does me. Perhaps you, like me, have something to share about your essential presence in this form as a human being, and how your unique point of view, your voice, your body, your mind and spirit, this puzzle -in short- that is your life to live and to decipher as it unfurls its purpose on the return journey Home, belongs to a greater common mystery that we share.

My introduction to the world was the impetus for the work I offer. The search for my place in the cosmos began with a shock: The compact darkness of the matter I was suddenly thrust into at birth, coupled with the particulars of the biogenetic legacy my parents transmitted to me through my physical structure, was unbearably dense. The birth records show I stopped breathing. And then I was revived.

In that suspended instance, I came to realize a half a century later, that I’d never wholly embodied the life I’d been gifted with. I’d lived in exile on the outskirts of my Self, not fully incarnating under the spotlight of my own being all the way down to the ground, preferring to the distress of physical embodiment with its encoded genetic memories of transgenerational violence, the safety of invisibility and the spiritual freedom of formless trans-dimensional flights.

From the moment I landed on Earth, this pattern of ambivalence became the keystone landscape that shaped much of my life’s journey. From the desolate barren familial landscape of my Afghan origins to the loss of my motherland and of my mother tongue; from the political upheavals and power grabbing overthrows I witnessed, to the life of loved ones sacrificed and swept away by gunfire; from the nomadic rootless experience of exile to a blessed asylum in New Mexico, I trudged on doggedly like a soldier in armor.

The greatest casualty was my heart. It had grown rigid by then, tightly bound up within the ribcage bars. “You love so badly”, my sister would say. I knew she was right, for I had to invent it. It wasn’t until my child was born that I stopped being the impostor of love, that I became its servant.

But that’s another story, the history of my heart…

You find me now past midlife, suspended upside down, like a chrysalis preparing for rebirth in this third act of my creation. My son has long ditched the training wheels and flown off to a life of his own. The death of a second marriage effectively marked the end of act two. The divorce, aptly, occurred around a Thanksgiving. I’m closing the book on inner and outer gender relations in the patriarchy, oppressive to both sides of the polarity, both on a personal and on a collective level. Enough is enough. I’m extracting the venom from these lessons learnt, for their antidote. I claim my creative power to write a new script of connection, and I will not betray my Self again.

From now on, I wish to celebrate the fragile beauty of this existence and to honor my mother, the Earth, for her sustenance and creative bounty; I wish to thank Place as the primary relationship we develop with what we call the environment, which also marks our belonging for it holds us as steadily as our skin, a parent’s embrace, the membranes of our cells or the walls of a house.

I wish to honor my mother and father in gratitude for having been the conduits of Life coursing through me right now; I wish to thank my ancestors for the paleontology of consciousness they’ve gifted me with all the way back to my celestial origins. I wish to honor my body which contains the memory of all life forms, from the humble bacteria clustering for eons in the oceanic ooze that originated from crashing meteors, creating the building blocks of the life I currently enjoy, to all forms terrestrial, liquid, aerial, material, vegetal, piscean, reptilian, mammalian, human. May all life and the (r)evolution of our human consciousness serve Love in creative balance and harmony. I bow in gratitude to the wisdom of the Unknowable.

This space is dedicated to listening to the heart of an emergent as yet unknown future we can collaborate in creating together. It means engaging in real conversations rather than in opinions. Here, I long to learn from you about how it is that you’ve come to understand your own life’s journey. In turn, I’d love to share with you the fruit of an imperfect experience as a seeker, which I’ve come to call The Ecology of Being Human.

The journey is a map inspired from a course I once took and later taught called Human Behavior in the Social Environment which I flipped, from the outside in to the inside out, for my master’s thesis in social work. I wanted to test its objective accuracy with my own subjective lived experience as a human being, if only to see how our outer world conditioning and our inner experiences relate. I’ve walked this territory ever since.

Throughout the journey, I’ve been blessed in meeting teachers of wonder to whom I send my deepest gratitude and love. They’ve taught me to recognize the body as the garden of the soul, reconnect what’s been torn asunder and to grow from the realms of healing and the therapeutic, towards our next level of evolutionary expression, the fully creative. Join me if you feel so moved…